For my 40th birthday, I wanted a view of still waters and a beautiful mountain. And so when a friend mentioned about her beautiful stay at Ashinoko Prince Hotel in Hakone, that is famous for its view of Mt. Fuji against the peaceful 3000 year old Ashinoko crater-lake, I immediately booked one night at one of its premium rooms. So we planned on having tea at the balcony, a picnic near the lake and a run around this circular hotel.
But it rained so hard we did not see Mt. Fuji at all. And worse, Adana had moderate to high fever all day, all night that I ended up staying in the room without a view, hearing only the rush of wind and smashing rain disguised by a massive cloud of fog.
The beautiful hotel, reminded me that one can age gracefully. It felt like entering a facility that was once grand years ago but has chosen to embrace its oldness. I loved the hall with a red carpet and golden ceiling that led to the rooms. I loved the winding stairs that were understated elegance; the walls of various materials ; the wooden furniture that added so much character to the place. I loved the French restaurant with high ceiling and a 180-view of the lake. The walkway towards the lake with towering trees stood tall and charming despite the intermittent fog that fell like a soft blanket. The onsen that was almost empty when I had the chance to take a dip was exactly what I needed. The view of boats and the sound of birds and splash of water all made me feel really grateful for all the 40 years.
That while so many things did not turn out as planned in my life, specially the past decade, I was reminded that there was so much to be thankful for. My past decade has been filled with heartbreak, all cannot be seen in my Instagram and FB posts. I felt the most rejected and deeply hurt for things that only God and closest friends will ever know. I felt the most afraid for my life during the big earthquake that hit Japan while on my 9th month carrying Adana; the most helpless when my mom had a heart attack on the eve of Adana’s birthday. I cried so much more this past decade than I have in my life the rest of the years.
Yet, my heart remains grateful. I have experienced the comforting, fatherly and unconditional, faithful love of God in all those times. That while the past decade has not been the best, I also experienced the best of God’s surprises and provision, all of which I did not feel I deserved.
So on my birthday morning, although sleepless, I dressed up and spent so much time in worship. Whether things turn out well or not in my life, my God remains good. That is my place. Right at the feet of my Lord; in the loving arms of my Father; in the sweetest embrace of my Prince.