I have always observed (and have always been told) that Japanese are very modest that their birthdays are quietly celebrated, on their own as a regular day or with just their immediate families. And I admire their modesty in so many ways. You will never see the Japanese striving to flaunt what they have. A lot of those I have spent time with, use all the signature bags and clothes on ordinary days; they travel places; they eat the fanciest dinner; they drive the coolest cars; they hold executive positions. Yet they act and talk very modestly. They take public transport; embarrassed to talk about their wealth; and even almost hesitant to talk much about themselves. And while it may not be true for every Japanese as anyone would argue, generally they are some of the most modest people in the world.
I remember that one time we gave a surprise dinner party for one of our girlfriends. We treated her to a nice restaurant, gave our small gifts, and made the night all about her. Each one of us (all Japanese except me) said one thing we loved about her. We laughed and cried and talked, almost at the same time. We knew that we made her very happy that night. And on my way home, she sent me an email and said “Thank you for celebrating me. It is a big first and you all made me so happy.”
Something special happens when people celebrate you. Trust grows, love becomes stronger and a connection happens when someone takes the time to really celebrate your milestones. It makes you want to do the same for that person and to pay the acts of love forward to another. It makes you smile all day and really thank God for lifelong relationships and meaningful encounters. It makes you dream of being able to bring the same smile to another person someday.
So when I feel sad, I think of the many ways people have gone the extra mile to celebrate me. And that maybe an answer to many of my prayers comes in a different package. That if I would only choose to celebrate the real and more important things about other people, I would experience many littlegreatjoys.
We only need to keep looking for reasons to celebrate others. Visit a friend who has just given birth. Send a surprise gift to a friend slowly recovering in the hospital. Organize a party for your girlfriend who is getting married even while you have yet to move on from a painful break up. Cheer someone on who is living her dreams even while you seem to be living in rut. Appreciate someone who prioritizes his family over many other things. Hug that friend who has just gotten the promotion you badly wanted for yourself. Write a blog about a great leader. Tell a new and struggling first time mom that she is doing a great job. Call a friend who is excited about attending her first international conference. Congratulate your single mom girlfriend for the small and special things she does for her child. Or approach that first time preacher and tell him how you have been encouraged by what he said. Praise an old couple for raising beautiful children. Surprise a friend coming home after years of working abroad and bring flowers at the airport.Or just make a big deal about a person’s birthday.
Many times I fail to make others feel how much I appreciate them and their choices. Sometimes I do not care about their small victories because I am too preoccupied with my own battles. Sometimes I celebrate those that I find meaningful because they help or support my calling and my needs. And often I forget how much celebrating them can actually change lives and bring so much joy in my joyless days. Because when I celebrate their victories, it makes them feel that they matter. And that there is something I could do to make them smile.
How could something as simple as celebrating be so hard for me? I have a lot to learn.
When one is stuck indoors for weeks to avoid symptoms of extreme pollen allergy, one looks forward to days like the White Day. I am married to someone who knows how to celebrate me and the people he cares about.
And I got my White Day cheese cake. Life is pretty sweet.
littlegreatjoys 